Who knew that it would be so hard to get someone out of the house? I mean, if someone told me that they didn't want me around, I think that I would be looking for other lodging right away. And now? Now he thinks that Saturdays are his. I am sick. I am tired. Literally. And I can only think that I have no place. I was thinking that perhaps I should get a hotel room for tomorrow night. Early check in. I'm just exhausted. Holding my head up hurts my brain. Yes, I am laying down to write.
But, he keeps "butting" his way out of looking for places. I sent him around 10 in his price range. One was a three bedroom house in a nice neighborhood. "But" he doesn't have time to look. "But"he can't really face looking. You know, I know how that feels because I am having trouble facing something too. Like having to be in the same house and have the same conversations over and over. Like his pretending that he doesn't know what is going on. I'm am truly just amazed by his lack of ability to help with this.
He knows I don't like battles. He knows that I hate having to tell him over and over....because I've told him so. But, he can say that he can hear me. He just doesn't. I can't heal with you here. I can't figure it out. I feel wounded when you keep staying. So....the truth is that if he feels more comfortable that it doesn't matter.
I didn't want to come home tonight. I know that the wake up time will be early. I don't want his help. I don't want him using my friends to have reasons to have to chat with me more. I want respect. I want space.
And now on top of it all.....I feel lousy.
grace.
But, he keeps "butting" his way out of looking for places. I sent him around 10 in his price range. One was a three bedroom house in a nice neighborhood. "But" he doesn't have time to look. "But"he can't really face looking. You know, I know how that feels because I am having trouble facing something too. Like having to be in the same house and have the same conversations over and over. Like his pretending that he doesn't know what is going on. I'm am truly just amazed by his lack of ability to help with this.
He knows I don't like battles. He knows that I hate having to tell him over and over....because I've told him so. But, he can say that he can hear me. He just doesn't. I can't heal with you here. I can't figure it out. I feel wounded when you keep staying. So....the truth is that if he feels more comfortable that it doesn't matter.
I didn't want to come home tonight. I know that the wake up time will be early. I don't want his help. I don't want him using my friends to have reasons to have to chat with me more. I want respect. I want space.
And now on top of it all.....I feel lousy.
grace.
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