Furniture

I have enjoyed painting...ok, desecrating....old furniture for a long time.  Or stripping it down and simply sealing it.  I have spent quite a bit of time trying and doing different things.  I've read books and watched online tutorials.  But mostly, I have learned by trial and error.  

It's really a lot of work.  It doesn't come easily.  It isn't done without a sense of direction....of how I want to make it look.  And every time I am working on a piece, I get to different points where I just wish it was done.  To the point where I can enjoy it instead of continuing to work on it.  Because ever layer of paint means more sanding.  And every bit of finishing oil means more and more buffing.  It takes a long time.  And sometimes, I just don't want to care anymore.  But as I keep working, as I am vested in it, something happens.  And I don't want to settle for something that is "ok".  I want it  be finished.  I want it to be really good.  I want the piece to be right for it's purpose. 

The great part about furniture is that the work pays off.  And if I don't like what is going on with it, I can go a new direction, do something different.  Relationships, on the other hand, require the other person to want to make something great too.  Now I've learned that that doesn't always happen.  As a matter of fact, perhaps it doesn't happen often.  

That's too bad, because putting in the work, being vested......it beats the heck out of having something ugly sitting over in the corner that you tolerate because you have to.  Much better to take the ugly thing and make it beautiful.  And therein is my hurt....I wanted to have the beautiful marriage.  But it's not furniture.  I didn't get to choose.  And, I can keep on working forever....but nothing ever changes.  And sometimes, even with furniture, the piece just doesn't work.  Or it was too damaged.  Or it needs to be changed into something else in order to be useful.  That's where I am in my marriage.  It just doesn't work to keep working as it was.  I need to put my efforts into something that does work.  Into a way of living that is beautiful.  

Here's to finding new uses and new purposes.  

grace.