Friends and Family Plan

I need a plan.  For friends.  For family.  I must not be so needy to my friends or I won't be able to BE a good friend.  I must get my needs met or I won't be able to be strong enough and emotionally healthy enough to be a good family member.....namely as, a good mom.  It's all about balance, I realize.  It's my word of the year.  Balance.  In this area, it is proving to be difficult for me.  

I am hurting.  I need care and tenderness and compassion.  Yet others need not to have to give it so much.  I don't have a family that will meet this need.  I have to face that fact.  And learn to just live with it.  I don't have to be tough.  And I don't have to be less needy.  I just have to not put my neediness on my friends.  And I know that God is enough.  Yet...some days, I just need a hug.  I just need to be told that I matter.  That I am seen.  That someone in this whole world understands how horribly my heart is aching.  So.  I am going to have to pay for that service.  Because my friends don't need it.  I don't have a family to meet the need.  And....I can't just pretend that I'm not hurting and buck up.

So, my plan is to plan for my pain.  Plan for my need.  Plan so that I can get what I absolutely need without harming anyone else....friends or kids  

So...there's my friends and family plan.  Truth to myself.  To them.  But not expecting them to have to meet those needs. 

grace to you.