Help

I emailed my husband this morning to say that I hoped that his house hunting was going well.  And re-sent one that looked so very good.....if it's true, it could be a total answer to prayer.  For him as well as for me.  Though he doesn't realize it yet.  It's a house.  It has it's own laundry room.  It's in a nice neighborhood.  It has a yard.  He likes to work in the yard.  It has three bedrooms.  It allows pets so that our daughter could take her chihuahua over.  Wonder if he has called yet.  Guess I'll know pretty soon.
I emailed to see.  Because I hadn't heard anything since he told me how hard it is to do.  How he doesn't want to do it.  It's hard because it's easy for me to empathize.  But what he doesn't get is that I need time off to be able to empathize for myself.  It's like I had to become the person that constantly saw him and helped him and put everything I hold dear aside.  Because he had to be most dear.  And it seemed right and good.  But it's not.  Because he wasn't doing the same.  He was taking, expecting and wanting to be built up while not doing the same within his family.
I have help along the journey.  Those who remind me to stand up.  To say what I need.  I am so used to trying to keep everything calm and ok that I forget that I'm living in a new place.  I get to choose now.  I am separating myself from him.  And it doesn't have to be my job to do it all for him anymore...especially emotionally.  I can let him do it.  And I can let him feel the pain.  Though it's hard.  Because keeping him happy and safe and accommodating his needs has been second nature.  This is like pulling off duct tape.  Ouch.  But it feels so good to get out of the stifling feeling.
Yes, I have help.  And that is a good thing.  God knew I'd need reminders.  Prodding.   And He provided for that.
grace to you.