Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Leave

He comes in.  I could go.  But what am I supposed to do?  Sleep in my car?  Oh yeah, I don't even have a car.  Or perhaps I could spend the money I won't have come the first to rent a hotel room.  I could go visit my mom but that would be kinda permanent.  He knows it.  And he stays.  And he comes when I'm here.  And now he's acting all fatherly with the kids.  Totally different than before he was told to leave.  Before I served the papers.  What a jerk.  Actually, I wish that I could go sleep somewhere and just actually sleep.  Not have to wonder or stay "asleep" when I'm ready to get up or lie down when I want to be up.
I'm not wanting to leave....I want HIM to leave.  To quit acting like he couldn't have already have done it.  He acts like he's doing something while continuing these months to destroy me.  If I don't vomit tonight, I'll be stunned.
I hate this.

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