Choose

I chose.  I choose.  I move.  I stay.  I have to live with what I do or don't do.  I have to take responsibility for where I am and how I am in my life.  I have to take action.  I have to know that I allowed his behavior.  It kills me.  I did not stand up as I should have.  I wanted to.  I thought that I could.  But, somehow, I guess that I got tired.  Worn down.
He still has that way about him.  He is biding his time.
Well, as of today I know that I won't stay legally separated.  I will divorce him.  I will do whatever it takes for him to have to face that I am done.  Finished.  He needs to own what HE did.  He needs to quit going around being a victim.  He needs to leave me alone.
I get to choose action.  What action.
And I get to choose to be kind.  I will be kind enough to finish it off and not leave anyone wondering...especially him. 
I choose to grow.  To be healthy.  I choose to be the woman I am supposed to be.  Not a victim.  And I choose to do it no matter who goes with me or does not.  I will do what I have to do.  And though it won't be easy, it wil be possible.  And someday it will be in the past.
I choose.  Day by day.  I can't do anything to choose for others.  I choose to love well.  I choose to be friendly.  And I choose to figure out how to make it.  Without excuse.
On my way.
grace to you.