lOOking back

in the last day, nine people have read "wuv. true wuv."  so, of course, i went back and read it too.  ;)  at the end i said that i am not a princess, i don't need rescuing and that i don't need a knight to throw his cape over the puddles for me because i like playing and splashing in puddles.  that was probably when i knew i was going to make it.  me.  at least a seed in there that i could survive.  the real me.  knights on horses aren't too common.  though i hear tell of a few.  and i am not cynical about there being really amazing men.  i just have realized that i made a blunder.  i thought that eventually he would see me as valuable.  for real.  not because he was "trying to love me."  how sad for him that he never glimpsed the person i really am since he was so busy looking at how i wasn't the person he felt that i should be.  and all the while i was praying and trying to show him how worthy i was.  and finally...i wasn't...because i wasn't who i was supposed to be.  i lost the essence of who i am. 
but....looking back, i realize that she is making a comeback.  and i am in awe over over how much i missed her.  i really like her.  and though she is still squelched.  still being birthed....yet again....i hear her voice.  and it is beautiful.  hopeful.  kind.  giving.
looking back.  at good. 
blessings.