Ladies night

Made it through without losing it.  Pretty amazing.  I wanted to share, but they don't really see me.  I am quiet.  I blend easily.  Totally who I am.  And...I'm getting comfortable with that.  In a good way.  Not in a hiding sort of way.  I don't do that great in groups, but I'm working on it.  I'm learning to just be present.  Not wish for something.  Not think that I should be doing more to connect.  Just being there.  And laughing.  And hanging out.  And eating pie.  And learning about things that I don't know that much about.....I have friends that will talk about anything.  They will say things that I can't imagine verbalizing.  They are good for me.  But, they don't know.  They don't know who he is.  They don't know what I lived through.  I have one friend that connects with another....talks about how their relationships are similar.  I brought my Lundy Bancroft books and she thought that they belonged to my friend.  She can't reconcile that they could belong to me. 
I did look for an opening.  It must not have been the night. Or maybe I'm a coward.  Don't really know.  Just didn't seem appropriate.  Maybe it's just that it wouldn't be right. 
Nonetheless, it was nice to see them.  Even if they don't always see me.  I am not invisible.  I'm just....low maintenance.  It makes me less vibrant in their view.  Less visible. 
I am not invisible.  I am precious.  Jesus loves me.  Hears me.  Weeps with me.  And sends me arms in friends. 
blessings.