You know....my ex has had a way of making things hard as long as I can remember. Now, in the end, he'll do something "good" after the big event of trouble. He will make a fight or an issue and then he'll turn around and do something that should have been done.
Tonight, he was at a game with our kids. He took them to fifth quarter..it's at a church up the canyon the opposite direction from home from the school. And left them there. And told them that a friend's mom was picking them up. I had been texting my daughter to be sure that they had a ride and to let me know the plan and all of that and wasn't hearing back. Until it was nearly too late and I was going to be stuck with the midnight pickup. I've been sick. I am really tired. Pick up means three drop off points and then home. The thing is that he KNEW that he hadn't spoken with or texted with the person that he said was picking up. He knew that he hadn't asked or made arrangements. But he acted to my daughter as if he had. Frustrating. Very. I have spent all of this time and energy trying to get her to answer when she thinks it's taken care of. Then she realizes it isn't....finally, after I had asked her to do hours before, she asks her dad to pick them up. Now it will be like he is a superhero. And I wish that I didn't care. But it's just so infuriating. Extremely. The kind that makes me crazy. Because now I'm supposed to be thankful that he's doing it. After he set it up so that someone else would have to. Now he gets to ride in like a knight in shining armor. Gets glory. Even if it's only in his own mind. I'm cold and ill feeling and teary and simply can't believe that he can still manipulate when we don't even talk.
Making it hard.....that's what he was about. It was never easy or gentle. He didn't ever get the memo that it's not always about him. He really did hurt me. And he still does. I have to get past that.
Somehow, I'm going to. I don't like that he can still make me a melted mass of emotion and confusion.
I get to choose. I need to choose better.
blessings.
Tonight, he was at a game with our kids. He took them to fifth quarter..it's at a church up the canyon the opposite direction from home from the school. And left them there. And told them that a friend's mom was picking them up. I had been texting my daughter to be sure that they had a ride and to let me know the plan and all of that and wasn't hearing back. Until it was nearly too late and I was going to be stuck with the midnight pickup. I've been sick. I am really tired. Pick up means three drop off points and then home. The thing is that he KNEW that he hadn't spoken with or texted with the person that he said was picking up. He knew that he hadn't asked or made arrangements. But he acted to my daughter as if he had. Frustrating. Very. I have spent all of this time and energy trying to get her to answer when she thinks it's taken care of. Then she realizes it isn't....finally, after I had asked her to do hours before, she asks her dad to pick them up. Now it will be like he is a superhero. And I wish that I didn't care. But it's just so infuriating. Extremely. The kind that makes me crazy. Because now I'm supposed to be thankful that he's doing it. After he set it up so that someone else would have to. Now he gets to ride in like a knight in shining armor. Gets glory. Even if it's only in his own mind. I'm cold and ill feeling and teary and simply can't believe that he can still manipulate when we don't even talk.
Making it hard.....that's what he was about. It was never easy or gentle. He didn't ever get the memo that it's not always about him. He really did hurt me. And he still does. I have to get past that.
Somehow, I'm going to. I don't like that he can still make me a melted mass of emotion and confusion.
I get to choose. I need to choose better.
blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.