shaking off the idea of lazy

i spent so many years feeling that any down time was considered lazy.  and even now, there is this residual guilt...as if i can feel those accusing eyes piercing into me, letting me know that not being productive, not doing, is lazy.  it is an unforgivable thing.  a taint on character. 
busyness. 
life was not purposeful, but busy.  always having to have actions.  to prove how time was spent.  it was exhausting.
i worked hard this last week.
really hard. 
i work hard every week.
and today, i'm still in pj's.  i even drove my boys to work in my pj's.  i'm having coffee.  eating breakfast.  watching some shows.  kicked back.  thinking of what i might choose to do later in the day if i become so inclined...though at the moment, that seems like it's not going to happen.  i want to connect with people.  have time to rest.  just not be driven DO anything.  i may choose something when i feel rested, but it is the being driven that disturbs me.
i am weary.  i am worth rest time.  even when my house isn't perfect.  and while some may think it lazy....oh well, if i'm lazy, they don't have to like me.