Cooking

I've done more cooking this week than....maybe in the last month.  It's always hard because making a mess is a problem.  And, when I am really tired after work, it's hard to cook and clean up.  Kids are really busy with homework and sports and church....don't like them to have to do too much.  They help with dishwasher and laundry folding.....but, it's hard to keep up and I don't like the stress when I don't "live up to expectations." 
But, this week, the house is pulled apart.  Cleaning cabinets.  Opening the shades and windows in rooms that are often left dark.  Cleaning the stinky places, facing the hard jobs.  Important to me.  Symbolic, really.  Facing the things that seem overwhelming.  That are overwhelming.  Like climbing a cliff.  Or jumping out of a plane.  Or walking a tight rope.  Necessary.  But uncomfortable.  My great grandma said that you had to screw up your courage to the sticking point.  Didn't used to get it.  Now, it makes more sense. 
Yep, I've cooked.  Good smells.  Warmth.  Comfort.  And......taking back my own self.  Who I am.  How I function.  And, I've cleaned out the scary places.  In my house.  And in my heart. 
grace to you.