Today, when writing down points for her team in the third grade class, a young lady doubled the points. She pointedly cheated. She used words to explain it away. She claimed she didn't know. Claimed she hadn't done it. Until I sent an independent counter (from her own team) to count up the points....caught. Humbled....or simply shocked at being caught. I'm not sure. Saddened me. Trust is so....precious. So fragile. It's like a dandelion going to seed....too much wind blows it away...and then it has to grow again.
I've been talking with my own kids about trust. About not giving up their good name for some stupid reason. To come clean about how they are behaving at school. About what they are doing (or not doing). About how it feels to be lied to. About being sneaky. About how all of those things diminish a relationship because they diminish trust. And, they get it. It's a beautiful thing. They agree that it's better to disagree, to not get what you want, to not have it easy...than to give up someone's trust. Especially their mom's trust, since she holds the keys to so much in life.
But how is it that kids are faltering so much in this area? I know a girl who dresses out in her cross country clothes on days that her parents come to get her so that they think that she went to practice because she agreed to run cross country if she was allowed to also do cheer. I know kids who cut class and convincingly express what has been going on in school. I know kids who say that they are going one place while they go another. I know kids who take rides from people that they aren't supposed to ride with. It's so crazy. It's liek we have lost a sense as a people of what is right? What is true.
But, trust can grow again...given fertile soil It can flourish. Just like those dandelion seeds. And, it can also die. Sometimes, trust is misplaced. And, we have to love someone that we don't trust. That's hard. But, a sad fact. I am learning that sometimes, when dealing with adults, and not children, we have to learn that it's not wise to continually allow our trust to be trampled That it's ok to not want to be lied to. Or treated unkindly. It's ok to say no.
grace to you.
I've been talking with my own kids about trust. About not giving up their good name for some stupid reason. To come clean about how they are behaving at school. About what they are doing (or not doing). About how it feels to be lied to. About being sneaky. About how all of those things diminish a relationship because they diminish trust. And, they get it. It's a beautiful thing. They agree that it's better to disagree, to not get what you want, to not have it easy...than to give up someone's trust. Especially their mom's trust, since she holds the keys to so much in life.
But how is it that kids are faltering so much in this area? I know a girl who dresses out in her cross country clothes on days that her parents come to get her so that they think that she went to practice because she agreed to run cross country if she was allowed to also do cheer. I know kids who cut class and convincingly express what has been going on in school. I know kids who say that they are going one place while they go another. I know kids who take rides from people that they aren't supposed to ride with. It's so crazy. It's liek we have lost a sense as a people of what is right? What is true.
But, trust can grow again...given fertile soil It can flourish. Just like those dandelion seeds. And, it can also die. Sometimes, trust is misplaced. And, we have to love someone that we don't trust. That's hard. But, a sad fact. I am learning that sometimes, when dealing with adults, and not children, we have to learn that it's not wise to continually allow our trust to be trampled That it's ok to not want to be lied to. Or treated unkindly. It's ok to say no.
grace to you.
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