The Resting Factor

I don't use sleep aids anymore.  Well, I'm not saying that I never would, just that I haven't done so in the last few months.  But, this last week, I was TIRED.  I mean, I just wasn't sleeping w  body was on constant alert.  Not worry.  Just like there was not off button.  I couldn't relax.  I couldn't rest.  I did for me to constantly be wondering if he's coming home,  Constantly be in the middle of things when I'm sleeping in the living room.  Of not having a place to go.  Of him always being able to see me.  Always being able to show up.  Anytime.  I think that it's because he has come in after I have fallen asleep lately and startled me.  It makes me feel really vulnerable.  And then, when I was at a friend's doing some work in the garage, he kept being right there with me.  Again, quietly and as a surprise.  So, this week, I just couldn't shut down and rest.  Until last night.  Went to a friend's last night and fell asleep in her chair watching tv.  And I was actually sleepy and relaxed when I woke up.  And, thankfully, it carried over to my night.  I made my pallet...I sleep better on it than the couch usually, but it gets a little tiring making it and folding it all up and putting it away...I laid down, and I SLEPT.   The kind of sleep that you wake up feeling relaxed.  Not hyper vigilant.  Practicing relaxing.  No matter my circumstances or where I lie my head, nobody gets to steal my peace and rest.  It's a gift.  I don't have to "pay for it."  The world looks like a much better place when I feel rested.  Thanks be to God!
grace to you.