Running Away

I am not myself.  Can't seem to cope as well as usual.  Kids are all gone.  Boys working.  Daughter at a birthday party.  Home with only husband and I literally feel like I'm coming out of my skin.  Shaking so bad.  Can't get warm.  Want to weep.  Could go some places...but they are all public also.  So, I am thinking that I will run away for the night.  A hotel.  I need to help myself get it back together.  It's nobody else's problem and nobody else can know how I am feeling.  Though there are lots of caring loving people.  I sense that I am going to have to figure this out.  Somehow.  I just don't know why it's so hard right now.  Just is.  I just want to sleep or rest or write or work without this overwhelming feeling haunting me.  It's so.........wearing.  And no family to go crash at their house.  What a sad thing.
Marriage has become like a mini pad that gets turned wrong......a pain in the butt.  Try to move and it pulls and hurts.  But, you can't yell or scream.  Nobody is supposed to talk about it.
I hope that I can get through this, because this is totally not me.......helllllp, Lord.
grace to you.