I am responsible for my behavior. For my choices. For how I allow people to treat me. For how I treat myself. And, epiphane!, I don't have to answer to anyone for what choices I make. Oh, wisdom dictates that I see counsel, that I behave prudently, and God has some great directions on that too....but, nobody gets to decide for me. I get to choose...that is WHY I bear responsibility....it is a direct result of choice. Today I realized that somehow that "I do" came with some kool-aid that made me think that everything I do, think, feel, want....all of it....has to be approved of by my husband. But, get this.....I never felt that way about what HE did. He thinks I do owe that. That being one is that I answer to him. That submitting means doing it his way, his purpose, his desires. But, I disagree. I think submitting is choosing to do what someone else wants or desires or leads out in because you trust them to desire your best....AND that they are willing to hear you and see you and to take into account your feelings, wants and needs. It's an active choice, not a sitting in the corner doing nothing.
Today my eyes feel a little more open. Like a kitten that has been wandering around, eyes closed, getting to know it's "world" and then it's eyes open a bit. Then more. Finally, fully open. And the world is a lot bigger than they knew before. My world is a lot bigger than I remembered. The opportunities are huge.
I want to write that book. I need to find a place that I can write without having to tell him what I'm doing. Because I've decided to do it quietly. Because....I don't want him to hurt me about it. And he will.
I am responsible for how I live my life. To God. To my kids. To those I care about. I owe respect, kindness, thoughtfulness, compassion, faith....but, they are not responsible for what I choose. Even God does not take away my choice! He gives me freedom.
I choose to spend the bulk of my time with people who cause me to strive to love God better, to be myself and to risk failure in huge ways. Those are the people who really love me. I choose to live a new way. Though I have to struggle with many other realities, I get to choose where to put my focus and my energy.
grace to you.
Today my eyes feel a little more open. Like a kitten that has been wandering around, eyes closed, getting to know it's "world" and then it's eyes open a bit. Then more. Finally, fully open. And the world is a lot bigger than they knew before. My world is a lot bigger than I remembered. The opportunities are huge.
I want to write that book. I need to find a place that I can write without having to tell him what I'm doing. Because I've decided to do it quietly. Because....I don't want him to hurt me about it. And he will.
I am responsible for how I live my life. To God. To my kids. To those I care about. I owe respect, kindness, thoughtfulness, compassion, faith....but, they are not responsible for what I choose. Even God does not take away my choice! He gives me freedom.
I choose to spend the bulk of my time with people who cause me to strive to love God better, to be myself and to risk failure in huge ways. Those are the people who really love me. I choose to live a new way. Though I have to struggle with many other realities, I get to choose where to put my focus and my energy.
grace to you.
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