Finding how to trust each day that there is enough strength. Enough courage. Enough wisdom. Enough peace. Enough hope. Enough faith. That's because they aren't stored up. They have to be exhibited step by step. Experience by experience.
Lately I have struggled. If you want to see my bitter, nasty feelings....go back to when I started the blog. I am healing and growing and learning. I am sensing a newness in my life. A slowing down. A lack of having to rush or fix things. I am becoming content to watch the plan for my life unfold. And excited by the adventure.
I've been subbing each day...which contributes to taking each day one at a time....kind of hard to plan ahead, just have to take what someone else tells me to do. Good for not being in control. Letting go. Resting in the journey. Enjoying the trip. Even the pitfalls and troubles. I have been given so much. And, much HAS been required. I look back at my life and I am so thankful to be here. To be getting stronger. To be celebrating life.
Each day has enough trouble of its own....and enough of whatever it takes to get through the trouble. This, I am learning.
This morning, I was seriously space invaded. I started shaking. He was amused....and irritated....and I was tongue tied. Didn't have the ability to put it to words AGAIN. And my girl was there. But, when the moment passed, I took a deep breath. I focused on what has already been good today. I drank my coffee. I went to the grocery store. I didn't even act like I would be going to church for his sake....since now he tries to maneuver to be where I am and it makes it really difficult. Instead, I made my own choice. To worship at home on this day. Not my very favorite. Not the most perfect. But still, uplifting. To have chosen instead of feeling....forced.
I have to face each day, one at a time, until this part of the trip goes by. No missing it. No flying over on a plane. Have to drive on through. And I don't have to be in control of everything. All I have to do is remember that I am not powerless. I am not without choice. Even if it seems like it.....I was created to choose. To think. To decide. And for the rest of my life I am going to exercise that right rather than allowing anyone else to steal the beautiful gift of each day from me.
I choose the beautiful. The fragrant. The uplifting. The smiles. The kind words. I choose. For me. Not for anyone else. But for me, I get to decide.
grace to you.
Lately I have struggled. If you want to see my bitter, nasty feelings....go back to when I started the blog. I am healing and growing and learning. I am sensing a newness in my life. A slowing down. A lack of having to rush or fix things. I am becoming content to watch the plan for my life unfold. And excited by the adventure.
I've been subbing each day...which contributes to taking each day one at a time....kind of hard to plan ahead, just have to take what someone else tells me to do. Good for not being in control. Letting go. Resting in the journey. Enjoying the trip. Even the pitfalls and troubles. I have been given so much. And, much HAS been required. I look back at my life and I am so thankful to be here. To be getting stronger. To be celebrating life.
Each day has enough trouble of its own....and enough of whatever it takes to get through the trouble. This, I am learning.
This morning, I was seriously space invaded. I started shaking. He was amused....and irritated....and I was tongue tied. Didn't have the ability to put it to words AGAIN. And my girl was there. But, when the moment passed, I took a deep breath. I focused on what has already been good today. I drank my coffee. I went to the grocery store. I didn't even act like I would be going to church for his sake....since now he tries to maneuver to be where I am and it makes it really difficult. Instead, I made my own choice. To worship at home on this day. Not my very favorite. Not the most perfect. But still, uplifting. To have chosen instead of feeling....forced.
I have to face each day, one at a time, until this part of the trip goes by. No missing it. No flying over on a plane. Have to drive on through. And I don't have to be in control of everything. All I have to do is remember that I am not powerless. I am not without choice. Even if it seems like it.....I was created to choose. To think. To decide. And for the rest of my life I am going to exercise that right rather than allowing anyone else to steal the beautiful gift of each day from me.
I choose the beautiful. The fragrant. The uplifting. The smiles. The kind words. I choose. For me. Not for anyone else. But for me, I get to decide.
grace to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.