Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Race

Today is the JV Regionals in cross country.  And, we got to have the discussion in the car about what is possible....even if something else is likely.  It's easy to think that the place and position that they always run is the place that they will always run.  And, it's easy to let thoughts of pain, failure or leaving their friends behind paralyze them.  Hmmm.  Sounds familiar.
So often in life, it's like the big races.  There comes a defining moment, a moment of choice, a  moment where it looks like a huge precipice straight ahead.  It's scary.  The idea of change, overwhelming.  But, overall, that moment is a gift.  A chance.  An offer of something new and amazing.  Just like running a race without letting your mind tell you that you can't, living life without listening to the voices that tell you that you can't.  Can't succeed.  Can't be first.  Can't achieve.  Can't get that much better.  Can't break away from the position that you've always held.
As I talked to my kids, encouraged them, let them know that I would be praying for them, let them know that they shouldn't fear failing by trying to do something really incredible.....I listened.  I heard what I was saying to them.  And I was glad.  Because I needed to hear it too....but I don't have a mom to tell me, so God let me hear what a mom tells her beloved children.  "No matter what, I will be  proud.  I will be there for you.  I will love you.  I believe that you can do amazing things that you haven't even yet dreamed.  Don't be afraid to fail BIG because you don't know....you might actually succeed."  It was a good message to hear.  A good time to hear it.
The races in life keep coming.  Continual new opportunities to do well.  But, I usually view it from the failure aspect.  I think that there is nobody who looks at me and sees me as a success.  That's what else I realized.  Going without my mom left a hole...a place that always wonders if there's anyone in the world who can just be pleased with me when I'm not doing anything amazing.  Because, frankly, often, I'm just average.  But, thought that's how I look, I tried to look at myself from my mother's eyes today (pesky tears are making it hard to see as I write...).  And, I looked at myself through the eyes that I look at my children.  Wow, what a difference.  The accomplishments seem much larger when you consider the obstacles.  Because as moms, we know what our children have to overcome....not just what it looks like they achieve.  And, this day, made me ready to get up to the start line and run like crazy.  Not looking back.  Not thinking that I can't.  Not wondering who is going to catch me or pass me.  Looking ahead.   Not fearing the next turn.  Knowing that the path will be marked.  That there will be help along the way to keep me on track.  And, knowing that from every place on the course, my coach is watching, calling out encouragement, and wishing me the best......and seeing how far I've come.
So, whatever your race is today, know that I know how difficult it can be to feel alone in it.  How scary to face the new places.  But, look at yourself through a good mama's eyes.....she thinks you are beautiful and wonderful.  She sees you.
grace to you.

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