Committed

I am trying to get a right and accurate view of myself.  For years, my husband has said that I'm not as committed.  That I talk about separating or divorce.  However, I have always been way more committed to actually building something that would work...his idea of commitment is like the captain going down with his ship EVEN IF all of the passengers are safe and there is room on a rescue ship.  I don't understand wanting to be committed to something that is diseased, unhealthy, painful......I mean, isn't my commitment to him to honor him?  How can I honor him by pretending that things are a different way?  How does pretense honor?  And how do I respect someone who does not want to create something good but has always just expected it to be provided.
I look at my life.  I HAVE been a committed person.  I have stuck by friends.  I have stood with my children.  I have helped kids that are "hopeless".  I am not a wuss.  I don't give up easily.
This last weekend, when I walked out of that veterinary emergency room and he was going to put our cat down or bring her home to suffer and die....imagine a breech labor that does not progress for 24 hours....of a fetus that is septic.  When he said what he was going to do, I walked out.  I realized that I don't support him anymore.  I don't trust him to take anyone but himself and his money into account when dealing with any decision.  And that made me struggle.  I felt horribly wrong.  I felt guilty that I wasn't supportive.
Now, I've had time to think.  I don't feel guilty anymore.  I feel determined.  Determined that I will not live my life like this anymore.  I will not condone selfish decisions.  I will walk away if I have to.  He can still obviously make his choices, but he won't be able to blame me for the fallout.  This is a huge step.  And I wonder, does it make me uncommitted?  I hope not.  But for my own sanity, I have to do certain things.
And if he tells me again that happiness is not a good goal....I have an answer.  Neither is being miserable.  What I believe is that when done right, good relationships bring joy....even in the midst of struggles.  And for a long time I lived that way.  Doing those things that I truly believe are right.  I still do.  The Biblical "one anothers" are important to me.  But doing all for him has back fired.  Now, he is wondering why I don't DO for him.  The truth is that I can't be sucked back in.  It's too easy.  I enjoy making other people's lives easier and more pleasant.  The thing is that I've never picked a relationship where the balance is so out of whack.  That's killer. 
So, if I remain committed in the way he wants me to be committed, then I will have to be.......committed.