Some days it is good to come to the end of the day. This day kicked my butt. I gardened. I worked my rear off. I focused on what I have to do. But it simply wasn't easy. So, I'm kinda glad that it will be over in about half an hour.
Break will be over soon. I will have to go back to the schedule I had before. Life will go on. Nobody the wiser that my heart is broken. Not breaking. Broken. Past tense. Has been for a very long time.
Had the chat about money....got called dear. Topped my day off so nicely. Yes, sarcasm. I'm trying to get it out here because I need it not to leak out in the rest of my life.
How can I hide? How can I be normal? My normal self. Acting like nothing is wrong when my world is all wrong? Carefully. With planning. Knowing answers to the questions people ask. Taking care to take care of myself.
Being stronger doesn't always do any good. Sometimes just going to ground is better. There are reasons enough in the world to make do. I just don't see how I can anymore.
I keep thinking how wrong I am. How I should stop this blog. It has made me careless in being hidden. It makes it very difficult to not want to share aloud.
Then I think, he's a good guy. I should count myself lucky. That's what everyone says.
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