It Is What It Is

I keep wallowing in regret.  And yet, today, I reminded myself......it is what it is.  It's not bigger than it is.  It's not smaller than it is.  It just is.  The circumstances are what they are.  I cannot change them.  My worrying does not end them.  I have to live each day.  I am excited tonight to see one of my sons do something really brave and totally his personality.  I keep reminding all of them how uniquely God has created them.  Same two parents, all different kids.  It's amazing.  Their own looks, skills, personalities, strengths, weaknesses......so amazing. 
I simply want to remember.  Circumstances do not create my value.  I keep trying.  It's realy hard.
The other day I nearly stopped by the women's shelter.  Just to be able to say out loud how lousy it feels to be in this predicament. 
I am a strong woman.  Able.  Yet, I am very sensitive.  Some don't know it.  Those who don't, don't know me.  Those who think I'm simply thick skinned are sorely mistaken.  I am strong.  Able to face many things.  But I am not hard.  I do not want to become hard.  Nor bitter.  So, though this time is what it is, I know that I can't immerse myself in it too deeply......or I will drown in the bitterness and despair. 
I have to go....borrowed time is over.  I will go and be happy.  I am blessed.