Frustration

As noted......I wanted to DO.  To get things done.  Now I'm a putty mess.  So, I took a bath.  Gave up.  I guess that maybe sometimes I just have to learn that stress is wearing.  That it hurts in it's own way. 
Our family has always been fractured.  The kids and I make up the family, really.  We function as a family.  He has his own dental appointments.  Has never made them for the kids.  He works out his own schedule.....but never figures it out for the kids.  Let alone me.  He has an entitled attitude about food that is available....like he should be first.  I parent.  And try to bridge the gap between him and them.  I feel like a joint.....the moving part that keeps two parts of something working.  But, joints are often the part that need replacing.  They get worn out.  They get over used.  Twisted.  Strained.  That's me alright.  Right in the middle.  Well, it was me.  Now, if he wants to relate, he is going to have to do it on his own.  I feel sadly for him in that the kids notice something.  They notice that he is not exactly present.  That he does his own thing.  Shows up when he wants. 
I am just frustrated.  Mightily.  That he ruined the evening I was going to have while he was out singing.  Bleck. Ick.  Yuck.  Look, I managed not to cuss.