Overthrown

When an old regime is overthrown, a new one must come to order.  That time is full of pain and often suffering.  So it is in my life.  It is the time when it's easy to long for the familiar regime....even if it was bad.  But, following through is important.  So, I will. Moving ever toward a gracious and kind heart.  One that can sing and praise and love without constant fear of being judged or found out for.....seriously....I can't believe this....things that I feel are GOOD. 
So, I get up today and get ready.  I think of what is for lunch.  I cringe and get cold, but I refuse to give up.  It is my life to live and I am responsible for doing so.  This is the time. 
I want to put up my plant baskets under my windows.  Make my porch pretty.  Work in the garden.  Other stuff to do too.  I know WHAT, I just can't seem to get past HOW. 
But learning I am.  Though it's hard.  So I will.  I will persevere in a new way.
A new regime.  A new start.  Moving on.  Slowly.  But moving.