Remember the Former Things

You know, I was just sitting here and that verse came to me.  I want to remember who I was BEFORE.  I didn't worry about whether I was good at this house thing, I just laid back and enjoyed it.  It was fun.  I loved my garden.  I loved my house.  I just always wanted it to be comfortable.  Now, I feel inadequate. 
Truthfully, I used to think that marriage would be the opposite.  I thought that it was about helping the other person grow and become more confident.  I have done everything to make sure he has done so....traveling, singing, sports, leadership.....I have encouraged him in every endeavor.  Strangely, here I am second guessing whether I can place a couch correctly.  Wondering if it will be ok.  I mean, last time I got all "brave" and painted over hideous paint in the family room, he said, "I prefer white."  Strangely, he never picked white in the past, but when I painted a color, suddenly white was in! 
I need good words in my head.  I'll remember how I used to be.  And, I'll turn on some tunes.  Oh, wait, the cd player isn't hooked up....guess I'll do that next.  Anything has to be better than listening to the repeat of the last twenty years of downers.