The Courageous Coward

Inside, I feel like a coward tonight.  I have an interview for a full time kindergarten position tomorrow.  It scares me.  I have done so poorly at interviewing.  I used to be better....but this self doubt just won't back down.  However, I know this other thing about myself.  I am full of courage.  I do things that are hard.  I face the difficulties.  I might not beat it all, I might not get the job, but I will do more than show up.  I will give it my best shot.  Though my best might be lacking in the eyes of others.  I am learning to look with my own eyes.  To realize what I have done.  The good.  The amazing.  I sell myself short.
I don't think that my life looks like always being a kindergarten teacher.  I hope not...at least at this point.  But, I am certain that it would be a good point "A"  for my journey.  So, I will try hard.  I will pray.  I will try to simply be myself.  I read about their school...actually liked the philosophy.  So, we'll see.
Now, for some much needed sleep....here in my chair.  With my phone on my chest.  My heater close by.  My shoes and purse by the door and my keys with me.  Sigh.  Maybe that's why it's so hard to believe that I'm the one.....or that I'll be "ready"...hard to do well with so much crap at home.  He has me reading his  introduction letter again.  It's....awkward. Wonder why he goes through these phases of "everything is fine."  I've been "deared" nearly to death.  Blech.
grace to you.