Who I am involves me in the past, present and future. It is all encompassing. My past will always have a kind of hold in that every smell, every site, every sound is filtered through the net of my past experiences. I cannot change them. I cannot reverse time. And, as I age, I am learning that I do not want to. For all of the things that I have lived through, all of the people I have known, all of the joys and sorrows that I have gathered....everything that has touched my life....has made me who I am in the NOW.
And who I am has to do with the present. Who I am choosing to be. What I am choosing to do. I can base my actions upon the past. I can be reactionary. Or, I can be purposeful. Full of wonder and joy and the absolute awe that comes from living and experiencing the right now. I can gather up these present experiences as I would seashells so that they will be pleasant past memories in my future. The present matters for now....and it matters for the future. And this present time is the only part of who I am that I can change. I can't change the past. I can't predict the future. But I can live in the now so that life in the future is more of what I hope. So that I am more of who I want to be.
The future. That elusive, hopeful place that we can only see with faith. Because there is more than the right now in my life. And my spirit knows that. That I am eternal. And that I live to grow and learn and become more of who I was made to be. And, in the right now, I can cast a mold in which to put events so that in the future, when the mold is opened, I will see a more finished product. A more "finished" me.
I am not afraid of getting older. I embrace it. Because I can't wait to see what is coming. I want to keep on growing. Keep on learning. Keep on believing that the most amazing part of my life is right now. And that each right now is going to make the next moment even greater.
I am a writer. I can't wait in some ways to see where it takes me. The sense of this part of me has been growing to a point where it is nearly ready to overflow. So, I write. Not always well. But, sometimes very well. It's kind of like photography to me...you have to take a lot of photos to get a few that are really and truly amazing. And that's ok. I can't necessarily predict what will speak to someone or what will fall flat. But I know that there is something here that I need to pursue in the now. And I believe that it will affect my future as well. I love that!
Who I am is a combination of my past, present and future. All rolled into this moment. I believe that I have purpose. That I am here to make some sort of difference. Even when I am not seeing the difference. I might be totally unaware of the good that I am doing, but by doing what I was made to do, I can still help someone else.
This is a new year. I have a lot of old fears running headlong into it with me. But, I feel like I'm shedding them as I go. Like the people running into the lake for the polar bear plunge.....stripping down and totally experiencing life. It's scary vulnerable. And, it's GOOD. I'm going to learn to love me in the today so that in my tomorrows I can remember how good that was. I am responsible to make my memories. To choose what to focus upon. And I choose good.
with grace.
And who I am has to do with the present. Who I am choosing to be. What I am choosing to do. I can base my actions upon the past. I can be reactionary. Or, I can be purposeful. Full of wonder and joy and the absolute awe that comes from living and experiencing the right now. I can gather up these present experiences as I would seashells so that they will be pleasant past memories in my future. The present matters for now....and it matters for the future. And this present time is the only part of who I am that I can change. I can't change the past. I can't predict the future. But I can live in the now so that life in the future is more of what I hope. So that I am more of who I want to be.
The future. That elusive, hopeful place that we can only see with faith. Because there is more than the right now in my life. And my spirit knows that. That I am eternal. And that I live to grow and learn and become more of who I was made to be. And, in the right now, I can cast a mold in which to put events so that in the future, when the mold is opened, I will see a more finished product. A more "finished" me.
I am not afraid of getting older. I embrace it. Because I can't wait to see what is coming. I want to keep on growing. Keep on learning. Keep on believing that the most amazing part of my life is right now. And that each right now is going to make the next moment even greater.
I am a writer. I can't wait in some ways to see where it takes me. The sense of this part of me has been growing to a point where it is nearly ready to overflow. So, I write. Not always well. But, sometimes very well. It's kind of like photography to me...you have to take a lot of photos to get a few that are really and truly amazing. And that's ok. I can't necessarily predict what will speak to someone or what will fall flat. But I know that there is something here that I need to pursue in the now. And I believe that it will affect my future as well. I love that!
Who I am is a combination of my past, present and future. All rolled into this moment. I believe that I have purpose. That I am here to make some sort of difference. Even when I am not seeing the difference. I might be totally unaware of the good that I am doing, but by doing what I was made to do, I can still help someone else.
This is a new year. I have a lot of old fears running headlong into it with me. But, I feel like I'm shedding them as I go. Like the people running into the lake for the polar bear plunge.....stripping down and totally experiencing life. It's scary vulnerable. And, it's GOOD. I'm going to learn to love me in the today so that in my tomorrows I can remember how good that was. I am responsible to make my memories. To choose what to focus upon. And I choose good.
with grace.
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