I've gone to church three weeks in a row. I didn't miss unless I was sick for at least a quarter of a century. But now, just the act of going is so hard. I was shaking today...got to the row by my friend and there wasn't room. Ended up sitting right in front of him. I was trembly and I was scared and I was not exactly peaceful, but I was VICTORIOUS! I did it. I went. I survived. I allow Jesus to love me.
Going out with friends today. He has asked me three times "so, you might be going out?" "No, I AM going out." And he prays that he's glad we are all together at lunch. I couldn't exactly agree in prayer. And he walks away after lunch and doesn't help. I make it. I clean it up and put it away. He is mad because I don't serve him, point him out, that I focus on the kids. But that is how it is for now.
But I went to church. I was very brave. This week was really hard for some reason. I nearly walked out like I have so many times before. But, instead, I stepped up. I did it.
You know....he's really not very nice to me. Not at all. What have I been thinking?
grace to you.
Going out with friends today. He has asked me three times "so, you might be going out?" "No, I AM going out." And he prays that he's glad we are all together at lunch. I couldn't exactly agree in prayer. And he walks away after lunch and doesn't help. I make it. I clean it up and put it away. He is mad because I don't serve him, point him out, that I focus on the kids. But that is how it is for now.
But I went to church. I was very brave. This week was really hard for some reason. I nearly walked out like I have so many times before. But, instead, I stepped up. I did it.
You know....he's really not very nice to me. Not at all. What have I been thinking?
grace to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.