Hidden

I put away the papers.  I have the paperwork from the safe shelter still in my purse.  The separation papers in a drawer.  I am living in a hidden world.  I'm not sure how to come out of this place.  How to face the hard things. How to talk it out when we can't talk about anything.  I think maybe I could just make him copies  and let him look it over.  Let me know what he thinks.  But...even that seems like too much. 

I think that doing the papers was really good.  And yet...now I'm so stressed.  I'm beginning to understand that the reason is that I have to try to reason with someone who won't reason with me about anything.  I don't want to battle.  So, here I am.  Holed up.  Closed down.  Troubled.

My body is cold. Yet, I am proud of what I got done.  Still though....it's like every step has a price. Evenso, there are parts that are better.

Though I'm tired, weary, troubled.....I can finally see that there's hope for a life that I don't have to live like this all of the time.  That seems very very good.  

I'll just let myself rest for now.  Wish I had a handmaid to bring me food and beverage.  Need junk food.  

grace to you.