The Path Splits

I have come to a divide in my life.  The path doesn't end.  It simply diverges with someone else's.  To take responsibility that this is my choice is important.  I am not a victim of circumstances.  I have looked over what is and what has been.  I have prayed and given marvelous effort.  I am not what my husband wants.  Though he'll say so.  He DOES want that I am his fixer.  His scapegoat.  The one to blame when his life isn't right.  He uses me to keep from being responsible.  I refuse to use him the same way.  He has done things.  True enough.  But I am the one choosing to split the path.  In this way, I am not a victim.  I am a grown up making a decision.  The consequences are mine to bear.  And the rewards.  I don't wish to be foolhardy.  This seems the wisest path.  And, actually the kindest.  Because if we go on as we are....getting worse and worse....eventually I will only hate him.  Resent him.  Letting go can be a gift.  He tells me that is wrong.  But you know, there were 400 years when God did not speak to His people.  Not because He's hateful.  It was time for a change.  They didn't see Him.  Didn't appreciate Him.  Didn't acknowledge who He was in their lives.  And they just assumed that He would keep on doing His thing and making their lives "right".  But then He withdrew.  He was silent.  Not absent.  Not unloving.  Not unaware.
This is what came to me today.  This is my answer from God.  Godly character does not mean allowing myself to be destroyed.  And dying to self doesn't mean being murdered.  There is a way to choose to give up my life and a way in which it is ripped from me.
Even here in my wondering if I can still possibly be a "godly" woman.  If I can make this journey at all.  God whispers in my soul.  Comforts me.  He just showed me how is IS like Him to make boundaries.  Not out of hatefulness.  Out of goodness and kindness.  Out of self respect and out of knowing what happens to others if they don't have boundaries.
I accept my responsibility.  I have made this choice.
And....I am strangely....happy.
grace to you.