On the previous list, I have thirteen of the beliefs. Or have them put upon me on a regular basis by my spouse. And, the other two are close.....I could just never buy the one about him being more important than the kids. And, I don't believe that it's wrong to separate from a destructive relationship....except for in the case of my marriage. But, looking back, I haven't always held these views. I have slowly been indoctrinated. Trained. Told. A lot by him. And the burden got heavier and heavier. Not supposed to be angry. Not supposed to be depressed. Supposed to forget the things I've forgiven and never think of or mention them again. I hear that God rewards those who are long suffering....well, I should already get a prize.
Anyway, this little "quiz" helped me. It actually shocked the heck out of me. I appreciated the candor. I feel like this relationship has been toxic. As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks ago, I was thinking how I felt like I had been slowly poisoned. Life has not been easy. I have been hard on myself.
But, when in this situation, it's not easy to rectify. Because he doesn't hear me. So, that will make it hard. More guilt. More expectations that I will have failed to meet.
This tic in my eye speaks of the stress. I need to get through this. And I need to learn that it's ok to make him angry.
grace to you.
Anyway, this little "quiz" helped me. It actually shocked the heck out of me. I appreciated the candor. I feel like this relationship has been toxic. As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks ago, I was thinking how I felt like I had been slowly poisoned. Life has not been easy. I have been hard on myself.
But, when in this situation, it's not easy to rectify. Because he doesn't hear me. So, that will make it hard. More guilt. More expectations that I will have failed to meet.
This tic in my eye speaks of the stress. I need to get through this. And I need to learn that it's ok to make him angry.
grace to you.
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