Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Monday, January 23, 2012

a quick plan while at the store


  • ok....went to walgreens. got my own mind back in my head. at least for a minute.
  • here's my plan of action.
  • i am going to focus on going foward. not what was. not what might be. just doing some things.
  • i am going to celebrate each little step and know that while i look like a mess....i am not always going to be a mess.
  • this is temporary.
  • i'm going to find grandma's death certificiate
  • go to boulder county and have house changed from the trust into my name....
  • i was always supposed to put it in both our names he thought but i refrained..procrastinated.
  • i'm going to fill out the paperwork and when i get $230 file it....with or without him.
  • i'm going to get the help i need. i'm going to do the things that are really hard for me. because being hard doesn't mean impossible.
  • i'm going to allow people to have their say, their time or grief.....their opinions. and i'm going to still live my life as i need to do at this point in my story.
  • i'm going to be less needy as i can be. but not falsely so.
  • i'm going to plan for the future. business wise. social wise. emotional wise. spirtiual wise.
  • wise being the key term.
  • i'm going to start. and no matter how small the step is that i take, i'm going to know that it's still a step.
    grace to you.
    p.s.
    I am also going to throw away my lingerie.  and....when i can, change my relationship status on facebook.
    seeing the lingerie hanging in the closet today....looking as if it had been recently moved, kinda freaked me out.
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    Dearest Grace,
    Me again, a faithful reader. Your post is inspiring, and very comforting for me as I follow your journey. You will need this list often, refer to it frequently for inspiration. I have one unsolicited piece of advice regarding allowing others to grieve and have their time of mourning: Be very careful here. You may need to allow them to do this privately. It concerns me that you may feel bombarded. This may create set-backs for you that are not necessary. I understand your love of others, but they must do this grieving on their own time, privately. Will you also include in your statement something along those lines to remind you that their grief is their burden to carry, not yours. You may want to write something to give to them, so as to unburden yourself from having to repeat yourself. Your heart is very fragile right now. That is your top priority right now, taking care of that beautiful, wonderful, precious, but extremely fragile heart of yours. Thank you, dear one.
    With love,
    Your faithful prayer warrior

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. a friendJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:12 PM

      This was my simple, jotted down "list" for myself to get going. I know what you mean by the possibility of being bombarded. I appreciate the advice. I am thinking that each person will have his/her own method of dealing with the loss. My husband and I won't be my husband and I and that really will freak some people out. But, the thing is...he will still be him and I will be me....so, hopefully, in time, people will be able to have relationships with each of us. Thanks for writing. Thanks for caring.

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