Up and Dressed

My house if silent.  I am up and dressed.  Feeling good.  Had a glass of wine so that I actually went to sleep last night.  I struggle with using alcohol like that...but after some time of prayer and reflection I decided that it's the same as if I went to my doc and got a prescription for a pill.  I am cautious regarding alcohol.  I've seen the devastating effects.  I do not want to ever fall into thinking that it solves my problems.  I used it to try to stay with my husband for some months.  It worked...but the thing is that it wasn't real.  If I have to drink to stand being with someone then something is really wrong.  But, a little glass of wine to relax a bit is ok.  And, I feel a lot better this morning having had it.  Did I mention that it tasted awful and was left over from an open bottle on Thanksgiving?  Pretty gnarly....definitely more like medicine than pleasure.
I had to log off for awhile.  Husband showed up to sit on the couch with me.  He likes to do that.  I am somehow not supposed to be able to say no.  To have space.
But I am up and dressed.  I am full of life and plans.  Hopes and dreams abound.  Even in the hard stuff.  He was gone last evening to a party for a coworker at a local pub.  That was nice.
This day I'll find things to do.
And I will face once again that I have to say good bye to my boy.  I woke up with a lump in my throat about that.  But he and I will be fine.  And he will grow stronger.  And I will too.
Praying for you.  Hope that you are finding comfort and peace.
grace to you.