Joy Doubled. Grief Halved.

There are things in life that make joy more intense and make grief more bearable.  For me, writing is one of those things.  It is an outlet.  Especially when there  is the hope that someone might get an iota of hope to make it through one more hard day.  To find joy in the moment, even if the moment is cloudy with a likelihood of rain.  But, writing alone isn't enough.  Hoping that it reaches somebody isn't enough.  And, while God is enough, He knew me well enough (imagine that) to know that being as tactile as I am I would need hands and hearts with skin on to help see me through the journey.
I do not know how I have been so blessed.  In ways that I never even imagined.  On days that all I can think is how much life sucks, I have friends who make me smile.  Really smile.  Who let me cry.  Who laugh at me....yes, at me AND with me.  Real friends. 
Don't know how.  Different kinds of friends.  Some that come and go.  Kind of like the tide in their lives; in and out.  Others are only for a season and I never really see them again.  Some are that kind of friend that you can just start talking again.  And one is the kind that I can't even imagine being 95 without. 
I've been blessed in so many ways.  My life right now is difficult.  It is hard to bear.  It is full of questions.  But, I do not walk alone.  I walk in community.  There is joy in that.  And the grief is shared by them, making it more bearable.
I know that I write much of the pain.  This is a safe place to do so.  But my sanity, my hope, my joy, my desire to keep on going comes from knowing that it matters that I do.  Yes, God is the first line, but He has sent me sweet friends to enjoy the journey with.  It has made all of the difference.