No. I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about the giddy moment that I had in the car when I had been at work for so long....on my feet for most of 11 hours today. I had meetings. I worked hard. I worked with my kids. I left school knowing that I was just looking forward to the hot water bottle and putting up my leg. It was throbbing.
And I had this moment where I thought of how nice it would be to have had my house cleaned and some dinner cooking when I got home. I know....my fantasies are lacking. Probably what happened to my marriage. I am pretty simple to please. Not to have to answer the dinner question. Not to have to stumble over things and determine that I can put it off yet another night because I'm just not up to it.
But, alas...I was too smart for my own good. I went by the store...yes, after having a long meeting after school...got milk. Got....hotdogs. Brought them home. To a home that looked just as I remembered. There are no little elves nor fairies. No amazing teens that knew that I feel this bad and did what I needed. Although, one did make the hot dogs for me. One greeted me. And the dogs. And I gimped off to my bed. Not even able to take the hot bath that I long for. Haven't even taken off my bra yet. Filled hot water bottle. Put tylenol by the bed. Got something to drink. Told the kids that they were welcome to come in and be with me or talk with me but that I had to get prone.
I need a maid. Or a wife. Seriously.....men get a good deal. At least the men I know. Even when women work....the women still plan the meals and are sure that the plan is carried out. Women...no matter whether stay at home or working outside the home....have the huge commitment to make sure everyone is fed and clothed. I know that there are some families where this is not the case. I have actually seen a few true co-parenting families. Me? I just wish that there was a day in all of these years that it wasn't my responsibility. I may not do something fabulous....i.e. hot dogs...but no matter how bad off I am, I give a plan.
Yes, I had a fantasy. Of a good fairy. With a wand. And sparkle dust. It only lasted a few minutes, but it made me smile. It made me feel hope.....even if it was ridiculous hope. Really.....for just that moment...I really for real pictured it. Truly visualized it. It was awesome.
blessings.
And I had this moment where I thought of how nice it would be to have had my house cleaned and some dinner cooking when I got home. I know....my fantasies are lacking. Probably what happened to my marriage. I am pretty simple to please. Not to have to answer the dinner question. Not to have to stumble over things and determine that I can put it off yet another night because I'm just not up to it.
But, alas...I was too smart for my own good. I went by the store...yes, after having a long meeting after school...got milk. Got....hotdogs. Brought them home. To a home that looked just as I remembered. There are no little elves nor fairies. No amazing teens that knew that I feel this bad and did what I needed. Although, one did make the hot dogs for me. One greeted me. And the dogs. And I gimped off to my bed. Not even able to take the hot bath that I long for. Haven't even taken off my bra yet. Filled hot water bottle. Put tylenol by the bed. Got something to drink. Told the kids that they were welcome to come in and be with me or talk with me but that I had to get prone.
I need a maid. Or a wife. Seriously.....men get a good deal. At least the men I know. Even when women work....the women still plan the meals and are sure that the plan is carried out. Women...no matter whether stay at home or working outside the home....have the huge commitment to make sure everyone is fed and clothed. I know that there are some families where this is not the case. I have actually seen a few true co-parenting families. Me? I just wish that there was a day in all of these years that it wasn't my responsibility. I may not do something fabulous....i.e. hot dogs...but no matter how bad off I am, I give a plan.
Yes, I had a fantasy. Of a good fairy. With a wand. And sparkle dust. It only lasted a few minutes, but it made me smile. It made me feel hope.....even if it was ridiculous hope. Really.....for just that moment...I really for real pictured it. Truly visualized it. It was awesome.
blessings.
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