Near Breakdown

So, I got all of what I needed to get in the bed and have my leg up.  I begged....literally...my daughter to bring me a hot dog...which I don't even like....but I was starving and though I wanted oatmeal, I didn't want to make that.  She brought it.  With an air that let me know that it was a bother.  That hurt.  I managed not to cry.  I settled in.  For about ten minutes.  Relieved.  So relieved to be still.  And then...this creeping, warm sensation caused me to feel underneath and realize that my pants were soaked.  Water bottle was leaking.  Got up.  Put pillows and bedding in dryer.  Ran a hot bath.  Made some pudding.....pudding comforts me for some odd reason.....got in the tub which made my body feel good, but really messed with my blood pressure and made me feel like I was going to pass out, so I got out.  Finally found my sleeping sweats.  Bedding was dried.  I took back to my bed.  Filled water bottle and checked it out.  It is indeed not to be used anymore.  And I teared up.  That one little thing of comfort that makes the pain a little better....gone.  I had a mini pity party.  The best way....alone.  And now I'm writing and wondering if I can make it through a night and then the next day without my heating device.  How can something so stupid feel so devastating?  Don't know, but it was pretty harsh feeling.  I try to make the best of most anything.  Probably why people really don't see me...why when I'm at the end they can't even picture it...because I can always keep going.  But this made me just stop.  Worn out.  Sad.
But....dry bedding now.  And....hey, pudding.  Guess something good came of it.
Oh man, just realized that I have to get up and do two more things.
Sigh.  But then...rest...blissful rest.