Remaining Calm

I did it.  Remained calm.  Just told them how it stressed me to have the house so....ick.  They did a bit.  It helped me.  It's not perfect.  I don't need perfect.  I don't care about perfect.  Although I do longingly look at some people's beautiful rooms and wish for them...I like our homey mess to a degree.  There's just a place where it's not a bit of clutter but trash and icky stuff that it gets to me.  When it builds up and it's as if everyone plays blind.  I want mostly for them to achieve thoughtfulness.  Kindness.  A sense that they can be helpful without being bullied into it.  That they are young adults and not little kids.  I want them to take pride in themselves.  It's coming......I've had to go back to reteach. Learned bad habits with dad here.  You don't do it out of fear because that doesn't teach the idea of serving nor of kindness.  I want the right thing done for the right reason.  Now, that doesn't mean that when training, I can't take away something else to motivate.  But, he used to gripe at me when they didn't do their stuff...strangely, that was often effective.  My kids didn't like him griping at me.  I didn't like it much either.
It's my son's bday.  That is very exciting.  And I feel better because we have some plans in place and my daughter isn't running out the door without contributing.That makes me happy.
Contributing.  Family.  It's a good thing.  A very good thing.
Real family.  Leaning.  Pulling.  Praying.  Worrying.  Laughing.  Enjoying.  Fighting.  We are getting there.  Learning to embrace who we are.
My one son, my oldest, said "i love you" the other night.  He is not a verbally expressing guy.  It meant a lot.  He is excited about the holidays.
Today, I have wondered if a card will come in the mail for my son's birthday...from his dad.  I hope it does.  Surely he did.
Have a good day.  In the midst of messy living...it's life.  It's a gift.  And learning to see the beauty in what is...that's a treasure.
blessings.