I wake up at 2....have to take more pain reliever. I wake up at 4:30...still adjusting from time change. I get up and get everyone going. Cheery. Excited.
But at this moment...for this very small moment, I can sit here and just marvel that I'm making it at all. That I am doing it, but that it IS hard. I can be completely honest with me. I can honor the fact that I am doing something amazing. That I am strong and able to be kind.
I woke up in the night and thought that it's sad to be so alone in some ways. So unhugged. So kept at a distance. Really, I do know people that draw others like moths to light when they have needs. I don't. I often wonder how I became so very invisible. What happened in those years of marriage? I know that I got very used to trying to be out of his way...of making it about him....of not being needy because it only caused hurt. Unmet needs are harder to cope with than not having needs.
But, it has skewed my life. It means that I did become invisible to those around me. And that I allow it. It's hard. But, it is what it is. So...onward to another day. My foot hurts along with my thigh today. I want to sit down and have a good cry and then go on...but alas...it's time to go on.
So, with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
have a great day!
blessings.
But at this moment...for this very small moment, I can sit here and just marvel that I'm making it at all. That I am doing it, but that it IS hard. I can be completely honest with me. I can honor the fact that I am doing something amazing. That I am strong and able to be kind.
I woke up in the night and thought that it's sad to be so alone in some ways. So unhugged. So kept at a distance. Really, I do know people that draw others like moths to light when they have needs. I don't. I often wonder how I became so very invisible. What happened in those years of marriage? I know that I got very used to trying to be out of his way...of making it about him....of not being needy because it only caused hurt. Unmet needs are harder to cope with than not having needs.
But, it has skewed my life. It means that I did become invisible to those around me. And that I allow it. It's hard. But, it is what it is. So...onward to another day. My foot hurts along with my thigh today. I want to sit down and have a good cry and then go on...but alas...it's time to go on.
So, with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
have a great day!
blessings.
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