Learning to Celebrate

I struggle along the way.  I feel as if I disappeared but don't know how to reappear.  Like a magic trick gone awry.  I went in the box and can't find the lever to make me show up again.  I am learning that God provides people to help me with that.  It's really hard.  It's easy to be "seen" when alone in a room with God.  It's much easier to come to acknowledging Him seeing me than to figure out how to let others see me.
It's easier for everyone if I remain anonymous.  In the shadows.  Never really shining.  Never making a splash.  And, given my personality, it's fairly easy.  Ok, really easy.  And it's so hard to step out of the shadow.  To be me.  To be strong.  To be light in my world.
I am fun.  I am smart.  I am able.  But I cringe even writing those things.  Tears well up.  I want to believe how I am.  But, the thing is that though I believe it to myself.  Though I like myself for me.  I feel alone in that.  I feel like others like it better when I remain hidden.  I don't feel like they see me for my attributes or weaknesses but rather what I do for them
I am learning though.  Learning to celebrate the me God made.  Very slowly.
blessings.