Peace

from the facebook page "i can do all things through christ who strengthens me."
there is peace in knowing that he is for me.  that he can be for me AND be for my ex.  for our good.  each.  not just together.  individually.
i am finding peace.  a piece at a time.  like picking up stones on the beach...finding the lovely, the important, the ones that "speak" to me.  i have to travel along.  i have to find what peace looks like.  true peace.  true hope.  not faking it.  not manufacturing it.  living it.  from inside out.
i struggle with my value.  it doesn't feel like i used to so much.  some maybe.  as most do.  yet, now, i have trouble understanding to whom i have value.  i have trouble seeing what is valuable in me.  but i keep believing in the One who made me.  he is pleased with me.  he cared for me.  he provides.  he blesses.  he hears.  he speaks.  he finds me to be wonderful.  he MADE me.  and he is MAKING me.
i can rest in that.
i do have friends.  that is good.  a blessing.  makes me happy.  though i struggle with the idea that i need to not be too needy.  that i need to carry my share.  last night, a dear friend spent time and talked and i loved it and relaxed and felt so blessed....until later when i remembered that she had said that she was intending to watch a tv show that went on during our time together.  and i realized that i was rather rude.  i was so thankful to be talked to and heard that i let it go on for too long.  but, the fact that she let me...that she was so kind to me...it was healing to me.  yet...i struggled with it.
god loves you.  in so many tangible ways.  he will meet you right where you are and how you are.  today.  be assured....there's nothing you can do to make him love you more...or less.  his love for you just is.
blessings.