My health has scared me to pieces this week. I've managed to keep going. I've taken a breath over and over and remembered that God is in control. But....let me tell you, the whole thing is rather terrifying. So many weird things keep happening. Tonight my head/face went numb. It was really bizarre. Terrified me. It passed. I have a cell phone...can I even dial 911 and have them find my house?
Good news is that I am learning the healthy things that I should be doing regularly. I am learning how to be healthier. How to combat having the problems worsen or even have them at all.
Overall, I don't worry much. It has just been so...different...stuff I don't know how to handle.
I hope if anything were to happen to me that all of the people who have heard me talk about my medical communities lack of common courtesy....will follow through. How jerky they acted. It's those moments when I remember why I don't really like the doctor world.
On a different note, I got to talk to someone that I used to know from church while at the bank today...she invited me to come sit with her at her church on Saturday night at 5. How sweet that was. She was glad that I told her I wasn't married. She wasn't freaked out. She laughed at the check from him that still has my name on it as well......I really wish he would get new checks. I think we ordered a thousand. Literally. Sigh. But she asked if I was happier. She just....got it. Right away. Without me having to give reasons or excuses. That was a blessing in my day.
Guess I should sleep. I'm a little nervous, I confess. I normally am not...it's just that freaky time this evening troubles me. I want to live. Not trying to be melodramatic. It just...frightened me.
But, sleep I will need in order to function tomorrow. So, pretty soon, I will need to face that fear.
I face a lot of them these days. I am so much braver and so much busier than people probably realize.
blessings.
Good news is that I am learning the healthy things that I should be doing regularly. I am learning how to be healthier. How to combat having the problems worsen or even have them at all.
Overall, I don't worry much. It has just been so...different...stuff I don't know how to handle.
I hope if anything were to happen to me that all of the people who have heard me talk about my medical communities lack of common courtesy....will follow through. How jerky they acted. It's those moments when I remember why I don't really like the doctor world.
On a different note, I got to talk to someone that I used to know from church while at the bank today...she invited me to come sit with her at her church on Saturday night at 5. How sweet that was. She was glad that I told her I wasn't married. She wasn't freaked out. She laughed at the check from him that still has my name on it as well......I really wish he would get new checks. I think we ordered a thousand. Literally. Sigh. But she asked if I was happier. She just....got it. Right away. Without me having to give reasons or excuses. That was a blessing in my day.
Guess I should sleep. I'm a little nervous, I confess. I normally am not...it's just that freaky time this evening troubles me. I want to live. Not trying to be melodramatic. It just...frightened me.
But, sleep I will need in order to function tomorrow. So, pretty soon, I will need to face that fear.
I face a lot of them these days. I am so much braver and so much busier than people probably realize.
blessings.
I have to wonder if you have been dealing with PTSD. It sounds like it, to me, but what do I know? It may be a piece of the puzzle, as to why you aren't feeling well, etc. Finding a good doctor is difficult. Ask your friends for a recommendation, they may know the perfect doctor for you to see... one who cares and wants to get to know you in order to help you with all of your medical needs. I will be praying for you. I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving week. Make it a time of rest for you. You are in recovery mode, be good to Grace.
ReplyDeleteWell, the blood clots seem to be a problem....today it has been particularly bad because I've been sitting a lot during meetings at school. Now, I'm back on heat and prone. That is helping a lot. Provided that I don't have to jump up and cook in the next five minutes. ;) Glad for this break. I need to rest.
ReplyDelete