Giving Me Time

I am the worst about giving me time.  I want to be well, better, healed and moving on...and I want it right now.  This minute.  Right away.  I don't want to sit in the icky place.  But, to some degree, I have to be there.  I have to be in those emotions.  Camp there.  Build a fire.  Make a comfortable place.  I have to face that time of my life down.  I have to get better for real.  Not faking it.  I have to heal for real.  And it takes a lot of time.  A whole lot.  Tons.  More than I wish it did.
For other people, I get that.  But somehow, for myself, I want to move it along a little faster.  I think that I know why.  It's because I discount the pain that has occurred to me.  I minimalize it.  I make it less.  I make it no big deal.  I choose joy.  I choose peace.  I choose forgiveness.  And those are good.  While also stopping and giving me time to hurt.  To mourn.  To be wounded. To have rehabilitation time.  I feel like an amputee that had surgery and got up as soon as the anesthesia wore off and started hopping around.  It's not the best way.  You're still weak.  You can get help.  You can have exercises to get stronger.  You can do a little at a time.
I don't want to just hop around.  I want to heal wisely.  To accept help and love and nurturing.  I so want to be seen....I'm just not sure how to do that if it doesn't involve getting a neon sign that says, "look at me."
blessings.