Even when it's hard.

Today was a hard day.  I sold jewelry to get cash to go forward with paperwork.  I found out that he won't be served until next week.  I have spent enough time alone today to figure out where I am.  How I am.  I need off of the merry go round.  It's making me ill.  Real merry go rounds do that too...the same music and going round and round and round, but never getting anywhere, people going by in real life on the outside, but stuck, pretending to be going somewhere.
But hard days can be really good.  And this day was good too.  Because I can solve problems.  I have faith.  I believe that God comes into life very personally...very closely...very lovingly.  I believe that He loves me.  Even when days are hard.  Even when I say shit.  Which I must have said a dozen times today.  At least.  But I was home alone......ya know, so that makes it better. ha.
But I did what I needed to.  For me.  And that is good.
grace.