I just sent the longest rambling, tired, unedited email. Guess we'll see what comes of it. Who ever knows? I have thought of asking to meet with him with a counselor so that I can say what I need to to his face. Without the hindrance of feeling so vulnerable and like I'll be raked over the coals and trivialized. But...who wants to pay hundred bucks to do that?
All morning I just keep wondering....could i do this four more years and THEN just walk away? I don't know. Because it's so hard. And he so doesn't acknowledge how hard it is for me. He pushes me to make it better. He doesn't honor my feelings with compassion. I know that feelings aren't everything...but....they are SOMETHING.
I hit send. I said what I thought. It was hard. Very. I've made lunch. I've cooked a pie. I've asked him to be gone today. We'll see if he will.
So. Very. Tired. And cold. And numb. And afraid. And resigned.
grace.
All morning I just keep wondering....could i do this four more years and THEN just walk away? I don't know. Because it's so hard. And he so doesn't acknowledge how hard it is for me. He pushes me to make it better. He doesn't honor my feelings with compassion. I know that feelings aren't everything...but....they are SOMETHING.
I hit send. I said what I thought. It was hard. Very. I've made lunch. I've cooked a pie. I've asked him to be gone today. We'll see if he will.
So. Very. Tired. And cold. And numb. And afraid. And resigned.
grace.
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