No Name

You know how I talk about the "dear" moniker driving me crazy?  How it is meaningless?  Simply habit?  Well, I realized that he doesn't use my name.  Unless he's really bullying.  Then he uses it with the tone of voice you use with your kids when their first AND middle name are involved.  I really did lose my self.  Not a person of my own to him.  "Dear" can be anyone.  But, I am not dear to him.  I could list some things that are:  principles.  what he thinks about how things should be.  socks.  (has three drawers of them because he takes everyone's socks...).  talk radio.  cold house in the winter...a matter of pride.  clean underwear...obsessively so.  wearing clothes way past their expiration date.  complaining about how poor he is.  history channel.  the office.  tv in general.  work.  just busy work.  but, not if it's something i need...only what others need or what keeps him busy.  So many things that are dear to him.  Not me.  So WHY does he keep saying it?  I told him to stop.  It's like it diminishes who I am.  Proves to everyone what a sweetheart he is.  Nah.  Surely not.  Maybe.  Great.  Figures.  Hate that. 
I have no name in my marriage.  Keeps me from being a person.  NOT!! Because Jesus KNOWS MY NAME!!  He calls me by name.  Yep.  I am known.  And received.  I'm going to be ok.
grace to you.