Kids

My kids are getting to be less and less of kids and more and more of young adults.  Love them dearly.  Pray for their safety...mind, body and soul.  That they will guard their hearts...and even more, that HE will guard their hearts.  I hear so much and see so much pain in kids' lives.  There's so much out there to get a grip on them.  So many who would pull them down.
I've been watching and walking with one of my sons as he struggles.  He has a really hard time with trust.  With feeling good enough.  I worry about suicide.  He's the type of personality.  He's trying to find his place.  Trying to feel like a man.  It's hard because I am not a man.  He needs more Godly men....and they are hard to find.  Very hard.  Who love and hold a high standard but don't compete with or belittle the young man.  So, I keep praying.  I tried from very young to get his dad to take this role.  He has not.  It's too bad.  He could really use knowing that love.  His idea of his dad is that he likes him to DO stuff.  Holding on and letting go.  But, the letting go involves a whole new kind of holding on.  It's letting the wind go full into the sails and then sticking on the boat while they learn to steer.  It's like teaching them to drive.  Not easy when you see the things they are heading for while they are blissfully unaware while thinking, "I've got this."  And their egos are fragile.  And tender.  Yet, their pride can be false.  I want them to have a strong, but accurate, sense of self.
I am thankful that my kids aren't big into dating and going out and just "hanging out" or "chilling" as so many kids are.  I read it on facebook.  I shudder.  So many kids that I have seen dropped by drugs.  By alcohol.  By sex.  And my heart squeezes.  And I pray.  That's how I must "hold on" at these ages.  Because I can't live for them.  I can advise.  I can be there.  I can love.  But, I can't choose for them.  Oh, my kids do know that there are choices regarding lifestyles that I won't allow....that if they make those choices, then they will be giving me the right to make decisions for them regarding where they live and what freedoms they have.  But, still, I simply know that only God can raise these kids to be the men and woman He desires.  My husband wants kids that don't make mistakes.  I want kids that know and love God and admit it when they are getting it wrong.  Because....sin and mistakes are going to occur.  For the rest of their lives.  And mine.  And I want them to know what to do with it.  Where to go.  How to handle it.
That's why my one son worries me so much more.  Drugs, alcohol, bad behavior....you get more chances.  If you kill yourself, you don't.  I think that I'll pray for more ways to let God reach into his life as His Father.  I know that my husband can't.  He can't hardly say, "I love you," to them.  Or hug them.  He is the weak one in our family.  Everyone else had adapted to be stronger.  I know this: God is not only willing to help my son......He is ABLE.  And, I trust Him to do it.  He has been at work.  I'm noticing.  My son is out of bed more.  Up.  Not in front of other stimulus as much.  He loves his dog.  That has been a GODSEND.  Who knew that a fuzzy black dog would be a gift direct from the hand of God?  Love that.  Glad I braved it and adopted the old feller.
There is so much hurt with teens.  So much that they wonder about and are faced with.  Yet, I have to say that I am incredibly proud of my six and the plus four .........because each one is growing.  Not without bumps and bruises, but with time and prayer, they are becoming the men and women that God has planned for them.  And that glorifies Him.  I keep wondering what wonders I will witness throughout their lives.  So far, it has been pretty amazing.  Not one perfect one in the batch.  And yet, perfectly wonderful.  Perfectly loved.  Perfectly cared for.  And prayed for.
I still see their struggles, but I try harder to see them as God does....on a journey.  With packs.  Learning how to climb the mountain and balance things.  My job isn't to only discipline....though that is a part....a huge part is to encourage, believe and remain loving.  Not remain unaware.  Not remain uncaring with a "whatever" attitude...but to really love.  To confront when necessary.  To do what is best.  To apologize when I screw up.  And, to actually see them.  So many times, I know what they are doing...or not doing...and I just wait.  It comes up eventually.  Some things have to be forced.  Others, they have to come to terms with first.....being an adult in the lives of any kids is a gift, it's also difficult.  Each one is different.  In a good way.  And my gift to each needs to be to adapt to that.
I am blessed.  I know some teens that would knock your socks off.  None of them have done everything exactly right.  Who does?  But, why do we expect kids to?  I love them wholeheartedly.  Pray for them non-stop and know without doubt that God will complete His good work in them.
grace to you.